"Miracles are never wrought without prayer, felt need, and faith...they are the natural result of the Messiah's presence among men."
Bible Dictionary

Friday, February 6, 2015

In which...Real talk happens.

* Author's Note: I wrote most of this last May, so it's a little dated. My internship is over and I'm now in my final undergrad semester. The current plan is to just keep on going - I applied for grad school, still here at BYU, still in Statistics.

I've been busy the last few months. Another semester of school has ran its course, and after a quick break I've started an internship at Workers Compensation Fund (WCF), the largest business insurer in the state. This has and will be a great opportunity for me, as I'm working directly under an actuary (which my coworkers tell me is apparently just an accountant without a sense of humor).

There is quite a lot of coordination that goes into making this possible for me everyday. I've worked exhaustively over the last three years to regain as much physical independence as possible, but unfortunately there remain quite a few things I simply can't do on my own.
So how have I gotten through school and work? Doesn't that require a lot of independence?

I saw a funny meme the other day that inspired this post..

Can I just say that managing that decagon would really not be that hard? Good golly, most of those things are the least of my worries!

Here's a look at the polygon I try to balance in my daily life..

First of all, there's no way I could possibly handle all of those things. There's plenty that I can't even physically manage.

But if we add in some help..

These people, and countless more, are helping me succeeded in my difficult little life. You've all sacrificed for me. Thank you. You'll probably never really know how much you've done for me and how much it's meant.
But as much as you've helped me, it hasn't been enough. There are so many challenges I face every day that in order to be successful I'd need constant, perfect companionship, able to help me solve any problem. 24-7.

Luckily, I have such a friend..

Yes, that purple thing is a heart.

Through Christ's Atonement, the impossible can become reality. Because he suffered for us, he understands us perfectly. He knows our wants and needs; our triumph and despair; grief, and joy. And because knows us, he can help us perfectly. It isn't often dramatic, and it's often not what we expect, but when life just seems to "work out", there's someone heavenward to thank.

I'm going to make something special of my life. Despite my dodecahedron of problems.  But it's not going to be because of anything I do through sheer force of will, or determination. Or courage.
Plenty of that will be required, but my success will come because of my trust in my father in heaven. He is watching over me. And you.

The scariest, most difficult thing I face is the question of the future. Sure, things are working out now, but what about when I move forward? What about trying to do this? Or attempting that? Or living there?
However, I don't worry about those "big" questions often. One, because I don't have the answers, and two because now is not the time for them. But most importantly, I have a simple faith that they will all work out. Somehow. And not in the way I expect. But I know that my Father is watching over me, and will help me realize a reality of true happiness and joy one day. To get there, I'm going to be tried and tested, forced to struggle and squirm. But such is life! ...Even if you don't have a spinal cord injury.